London - (Fetid Ass Mess): A disgusting rancid smell has invaded much of UK airspace and is poisoning British voters into a state of toxic amnesia.
"We think it's another EU stink bomb," the head of the Met's anti-terror squad said today, "designed to drug Brits into sleepwalking over the proverbial cliff about handing over sovereignty to Brussels."
The foul vapours started early today after RAF Fylingdales listening station reported an EU satellite dumping some 500 tonnes of Zyklon B-related anaesthetic gas over English Channel airspace.
"These Euro-Fascist Johhnies are up to no good again," the MoD's Maj Gen V Smart confided in a hurriedly-convened MI5 strategy meeting.
"They want to drug much of the UK into moronic acquiescence of Tony Blair as EU president.
"Well, we have a remedy for that and it's NOT Blair's firstborn bastard David Cameron, nor Cameron's Carla Bruni-spawned Prince William impostor."
Passover commences on Sunday 20 April.
