TV Celeb Barbara Walters Admits To Long Affair With U.S. Senator

Written by Natowsky

Thursday, 8 May 2008

image for TV Celeb Barbara Walters Admits To Long Affair With U.S. Senator
Keys used by 'Brooky' to access secret apartment for trysts with Baba Wawa

A secret, hidden for the past 30 years, has finally surfaced for the general public. Famous U.S. TV news commentator and reporter Barbara Walters, 78, your standard white bread TV personality, recently admitted to a several-year affair with a two-term black U.S Senator. All this happened in the 1970s when twice-divorced Walters took up with fully-black, married Senator Edward Brooke of Massachusetts.

Walters, who has a slight speech impediment, and, who had a stuttering sister, has been mimicked many times on American TV. In the skits, a female comedian introduces herself as 'Baba Wawa' and then goes on to do a mock small news item, monolog, or interview using the defect to the audience's amusement.

The most unusual aspect of this whole shebang affair is the general unattractiveness of Ms. Wawa---see, even we at 'Hollywood Sensationalisms' cannot keep away from using Baba Wawa. Wawa! Wawa! Wawa! Wawa! Ah, that felt good. Oh, forgot, Baba! Baba! Baba! Baba! Aaaaah, again a mental boost!

As far as Senator Brooke is concerned, the 88-year old ex politico claims he doesn't remember much about their illicit activities, except for some kind of coupling while bouncing up and down on a trampoline and a woman's yelling out constantly, "Eddie! Eddie! Eddie! Yes, yes, yes, bounce hard, you stud." I mean, I know I cannot remember much these days, but one cannot forget the words of a woman in the steaminess of lovemaking. Man, now, it's coming back. Not a great looker, but was always ready. Bugged me a lot for nookie. Nowadays, lucky if Viagram can get me going! Oh, when you see...uh...uh...yes, Baba, say hello from Brooky!

Now, I remember a bit more!!! When she really wanted to get me going, she'd say, "Up on the tramp," her word for trampoline, "and the Baba Bounce!" Man, she could really get hot and I couldn't resist...genes, as you know! She had this big trampoline in our huge living room in the hideaway apartment we had in New York City for our sexual romps. I still have the keys on my desk after all these years!

You know, they say I look like that guy Obamo, running for President. I really think so, if you look at my picture from those days. Had the same haircut as Obamo! But, I was a complete one. I mean, he's only half of one, if you catch my drift. In street talk, 'not a full brotha.' And that Cliton gal...she's got the balls to fight the guy. Interesting name, too! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Damned near impossible for an old codger, as I, to get a good joke going, anymore, but,...Cliton?! What a great name!!! Hope she lives up to it! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

We left Mr. Brooke actually rolling on the floor laughing his ass off and got the heck out of there, and, as fast as we could, just in case the guy started fading on us. We just hate calling 911 when an interviewee is croaking on us. Anyway, we're sure he's OK. At least, the obits have been 'clean' of any Senator Brooke!

See you next time with another forbidden adventure from Tinseltown or The Big Apple...

Reported by Jerome 'Pee' Osborne, Jr.

Copyright 2008 Hollywood Sensationalisms
A Mingus-Fingus-Dingus Publication

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more