Harare, Zimbabwe - (AssoCIAted Mess): Up to 600 tonnes of potentially lethal defective military weapons in the Aung San Suu Kyi carrier are heading back to the Halliburton Corporation's Beijing orifice.
Durban dockers have refused to touch the used equipment load because they feared being screwed over by Dick Cheney's dirty tricks department.
A livid Halliburton source had warned that any African country refusing to co-operate in the venture "risked being nuked by Hillary Clinton" once she got her own way next November.
Other reports however claim that there are no weapons of any kind aboard the vessel whatsoever, 'because it is loaded with high-grade Colombian crack cocaine for the personal use of the Mugabe regime.'
The Chinese meanwhile are saying nothing despite their Foreign Orifice's hints that the cargo consists of purely playful recreation equipment to cheer up Zimbabwe out of its economic doldrums.
"Misunderstanding occur from semantics blunder," a Chinese diplomatic source explained.
"Somebody told CNN about 'fears that the cargo could be used in a lethal crack down'.
"American reporters quickly assumed the carrier was full of illicit drugs."
Robert Mugabe is 89.
