A tiny hill town in the province of Messina, Sicily has decided to use tinted mozzarella balls instead of traditional paper ballots to vote for their next Prime Minister in this weekend's election.
"The ballots we received were already ticked for Berlusconi, the schifoso," claimed Antonio Cacciamiglia, mayor of San Salvatore di Fitalia. The town, nestled in the mountains about 45 miles west of Messina, has a population comprising 146 Sicilians, 260 goats, 183 sheep, and an assortment of cows, lizards, and chickens.
When asked how these ballots were corrupted in the first place, many of the local gentry whispered, off the record, "Mafiosi."
Upon seeing that the ballots had been tampered with, the San Salvatoreans decided to circumvent the problem by burning the paper ballots and substituting mozzarella balls. This Saturday, each adult of voting age received two mozzarella balls, one tinted blue for the capitalist, Silvio Berlusconi and one colored red for leftist-leaning Walter Veltroni. Then, today, each person is expected to drop one of the cheesy orbs into the refrigerated ballot box to indicate their political preference.
In order to discourage consumption of the succulent ballots prior to the vote, the colored dyes were mixed with radioactive plutonium.
