Judeo-Christianity forged on Moses' bad acid trip

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

image for Judeo-Christianity forged on Moses' bad acid trip
The Almighty was mightily pissed off with all his semitic junkies

Jerusalem - (Narcotic Mess): The Israeli/Palestinian conflict hit rock bottom today with the publication of damning new evidence by an eminent Israeli Professor of Forensic Bibliomancy who says it is rooted in delusional Judeo-Christian traditions forged on Moses' bad acid trip.

The prophetic kinsman of Jews' and Arabs' common ancestor Abraham, Moses should have been sectioned to a narco-rehab for his delusional rants that inspired hundreds of generations of land-grab hatred in the Middle East today.

Professor Benny Shanon of Jerusalem's Hebrew University believes that Moses' brain was fried from addiction to hallucinogens and that his spiritual guru/herbalist "gave him stoned tablets" to try to cure his psychosis.

"Moses was out of his tree on a heady cocktail of dope," Shanon postulates, "a puppet of the Old Testament's equivalent of the modern pharmaceutical industry.

"Quack doctors those days prescribed all manner of shit for
mental health problems.

"In Biblical times these were largely the direct result of rampant incest and Moloch-worshipping child molestation practises.

"Moses was hooked on Ayahuasca - a herbal mix of southern Israeli mood-altering plants, the narcotic red and white toadstool Amarita Muscaria, the mind-bending wheat-pollutant Ergot, three strains of indigenous Judean Skunk, the Zoroastrian hallucinogen Peganum harmala and an ancient Chaldean forerunner of Mexican Peyote," Shanon states.

"The pharmaceutical industry had a vested in promoting entheogens - psychoactive sacramental stimulants that vied with the fledgeling brewing and viticultural industries for dominance in the highly-regarded prophecy profession.

"Moses was a pharma-stooge, no doubt about it," Shanon adds.

"Covering up his narco-psychosis has been an immensely successful global mindustry all of its own, equalled only by the subsequent fabrication of the Jesus heresy and all its later imitators."

Shanon's thesis it the subject of a forthcoming Hollywood blockbuster starring Tom Cruise.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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