Written by Gordon Bennet

Monday, 18 February 2008

image for James Bond to retire and marry M's Secretary Miss Funnyfanny
James Bond who recently celebrated his 98th Birthday has announced his retirement and marriage to M's Secretary

James Bond who has just celebrated his 98'th birthday has announced that he will retire and marry M's Secretary Miss Funnyfanny aged 89 after he has completed his next and final assignment Operation Bin Liner.

Known throughout the World as Master Spy 007, Bond's final mission will involve being dispatched to the Middle East with the main objective, to kill Osama Bin Laden and destroy all Al Qaeda Bases.

It is expected that the operation will be carried out in the spring and completed within a couple of weeks as Bond does not like to hang about unless delayed by some Gorgeous Nubile Eastern Beauty.

Miss Funnyfanny, who has been in love with Bond ever since she saw the twinkle in his eye the first day they met, did not think she had a cat in hell's chance of marrying the Ace Spy, as he has spent his entire life sleeping with some of the Worlds most glamorous women.

She went on to say "how do you capture a man, who has always had Pussy Galore."

Bond who has flirted with Miss Funnyfanny for the past fifty years has been known to have his wicked way with her on several occasions.

It is believed that the couple have instructed Phil Spencer and Kirsty Allsop from the Channel Four Programme Relocation, Relocation to find them houses in both the Cotswolds and the South of France.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: James Bond, mi6, 007

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