The Republican party presidential hopeful John McCain has stunned the American electorate by formally nominating Irish Fianna Fail Senator Donie Cassidy as his VP.
Senator Cassidy recently hit the headlines in his native Ireland after he suggested that road deaths in Ireland could be dramatically reduced by limiting foreign nationals to an 80kph speed limit on Irish roads.
Cassidy is a native of Castlepollard in County Westmeath and is one of Ireland's most colourful politicians mainly due to the 62 year olds ownership of the country's most famous toupee, a bright red thickly thatched comb over effort, that over the years has become a tourist attraction in it's own right.
Cassidy's toupee is said to be directly responsible for 40% of the tourism and hospitality employment in his Westmeath constituency, indeed, the Dussledorf branch of the Donie Cassidy fan club makes an annual pilgrimage to Castlepollard every July for the boisterous and bawdy 'Washing of the wig' festival held in the town square over the Bank holiday weekend.
Senator Cassidy also suggested that Irish drivers should drive on the right hand side of the road like their European counterparts because that's the way all the foreigners drive and its those fella's that are causing all the accidents when they come over here to Ireland.
A suggestion that the Senators desire for a safer and more European style motoring experience stemmed from the 'Not too be sniffed at' discount that Mr Cassidy had managed to negotiate on a luxury vehicle during a visit to Cologne last month for the European 'Ultimate Wig Fighting' championships.
Senator Cassidy is alleged to have placed a substantial deposit on a brand new left hand drive BMW X6 with full leather interior and sports alloy wheels.
The accusation has been vigorously denied by the biggest spokesman that could be found.
Senator John McCain made the announcement at 'Bullwinkles Saloon' in Tallahassee Florida where he was losing heavily in a game of pool to an old army buddy named locally as 'Gnarly Erik'.
Senator McCain's opponent cut an odd figure as he shuffled slowly around the table, a tennis raquet had been taped to each 'Mt Everest Ultimate' hiking boot and 'Gnarly" appeared to be sweating profusely inside his all in one baby seal fur jumpsuit as the mercury tipped 80 degrees.
Two journalists had to be airlifted to hospital after they quizzed the 'Die Hard star' on his 'Shameful' and cynical attempt to ride roughshod over the twelfth amendment.
After a brief huddle during which Officer McCain and 'Erik' were seen to Google 'twelfth amendment' on a '$1 for five minute internet station', the Florida fur man attacked watching TV crews with a large inflatable hammer and a pool cue.
"America needs Cassidy! It's an Amendment! It's the twelfth fucking one for Thor's sake!! It can be changed again assholes...Whooh! Boy!!!"
Donie Cassidy owns the publishing rights to the song "My lovely rose of Clare" and mans the 'Samaritans' 24 hour toupee crisis call line every second Tuesday of the Month.
