Unusual macaque mating rituals! Male monkeys in Indonesia discovered "paying for sex"!

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Sunday, 6 January 2008

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CENTRAL KALIMANTAN - INDONESIA: A 20-month study of primates at this reserve has revealed - that just like their male-john counterparts - macaque-dudes are also known to "pay for sex".

With sex being a highly sought after commodity at this reserve, supply and demand factors naturally come into play. With the female supply being much lower, male macaques have to be quite innovative - hence the bartering for sex.

Said Jacques the Macaque: "With the US dollar falling to such lows we've had to resort to other forms of currency. Grooming female monkeys has become a good substitute."

Jacques added that after a male grooms a female, the likelihood that she will engage in sexual activity with the male was about three times more than if the grooming had not occurred.

"We all know that male humans have to really make some mating effort in order to get a female's 'permission' to mate," Jacques said in an interview with National Geographic.

"We also know from our observation of human females that they like their males to reward them for sex - fine dining, dancing before sex and jewelry, outfits, holidays, dream mansions after the fact. We primates are lucky that our females are content to just 'be groomed' - at least for the time being."

It's been so productive that even the human zoo keepers and handlers have taken up grooming female macaques.

"A guy can get pretty lonely out here", confided primatologist Dr. John Goodall.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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