China Pushes Shoddy Rat Poison

Funny story written by triso

Friday, 14 December 2007

image for China Pushes Shoddy Rat Poison
China Exports Poison

BEIJING - Chin Ki, 57, owner of Ki Manufacturing Industries Corp. in Bigdong Province has been sentenced to death for "selling inferior products to western capitalist markets."

In this case, the inferior product was generic rat poison. In ordinary FDA testing, none of the the test rats died after gorging up to twenty times the normal fatal dosage. The official FDA report concluded with, "We've seen toothpaste and pet food which is more lethal than this swill."

Although a sentence of death sounds harsh to Western ears, it is an effective deterrent to those who are making the transition from a closed Communist regime to a global Capitalist society.

A request for an interview with Mr. Ki was denied but he was allowed to write a final statement which would be edited by prison officials and then distributed.

Mr. Ki's final statement ended with, "I am sorry for the shame I have brought to China and to my family." He is scheduled to be executed at sundown today. Execution is by firing squad and not by lethal injection, which would take days if this poison from Ki Corp. was used.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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