Amidst the ongoing imbroglio in Pakistan, Shupreme Commander for Life Pervez Musharraf fired off his latest salvo before the international media. With a complete clampdown on Pakistani media in force Musharraf continues his daily hectoring of the "Wesht".
Feeling more and more isolated and refusing to budge from his "between a rock and a hard surface" position, Musharraf once again reminded the world that "the uniform is my shecond shkin" - although he was wearing an Armani suit at the time.
Stating he would "quit when the turmoil was over" he added "If I see that the turmoil is going down then I will create more turmoil to keep the turmoil going". He then expanded on his circular reasoning "the day when there is no turmoil in Pakistan I will step down - but as long as I create turmoil then I don't have to step down"
Musharraf clarified "Emergency ish not meant to "rig elections" but in fact to enshure 'fair and transhparent elections".
Refusing to address the question of when he would remove the Emergency; release all political prisoners and opposition leaders and re-instate the judiciary an angry Musharraf warned: "It ish up to me to shave the gommint and that ish what I will do. The only way to have fair and transhparent elections ish under emergency. I have total shupport everywhere - even those who are blunt to tell me on my face".
Following his announcement, hordes of militants who had sought sanctuary at Army GHQ in Islamabad ransacked barber shops setting them on fire. Mullah Beardullah the flamboyant wild-eyed leader fired off his own warning accompanied by a volley of shots from his Kalashnikov. "Nobody touches our beards - we will see who shaves whom!he roared.