Discovery of A "Cold Fusion Torch" Free Energy Device; developed in the Basement Of Ohio Man

Funny story written by shpshftr

Wednesday, 26 September 2007

image for Discovery of A "Cold Fusion Torch" Free Energy Device; developed in the Basement Of Ohio Man
The Reaction of Dr. Collier's device as seen through an electron microscope using various protective filters.

Today, Dr. Collier, a 76 year old retired physicist from Ohio State University discovered an unlimited power source following the research done by Dr. Edward Mullove a friend and colleague previously from MIT. Dr. Collier said, "This was a continuation of my research on magnetism with Dr. Mallove into magnetically containing a controlled fusion reaction." He explained further "My experiment concentrated on the high temperature plasma problems but it turns out Dr. Mullove was right." Unwilling to elaborate, turned to the device for a demonstration.

A Fusion Torch is a concept for the application of ultra-high temperature plasmas found in fusion reactors. Dr. Collier discovered how to contain this reaction in a very small space at very low temperatures using a magnetic field. He said he finally discovered a way to control the reaction in such a way so that he could "Turn the thing off without blowing up my house!"

He said his most difficult problem was having enough energy to start and stop the device. His neighbors often complained of power outages in the area and strange vibrations shaking the ground in the neighborhood. However, once started, it could power it's own "containment field" with almost no loss of the overall power output. The device literally makes no noise beyond a slight hum on start up. He said the loss of maintaining the magnetic field is less than .000000000000000386%.

This reporter was stunned at the results of a device the size of a trash can, powering Dr. Colliers entire house for a week on the energy from a single banana peal.

The ramifications of the device on the open market are mind boggling. "No more grid based energy systems for one good example!" Dr. Collier exclaimed. He has hired three private security firms for protection of the device and hopes to introduce it on the open market this year. He promises that "gas prices with drop to .22 per gallon within a year of this device reaching the market." He said with a grin on his face.

Dr. Collier was giggling when he said "I don't know about you, but the idea of never having to get gas for my car, or buy electricity from grid based systems sure appeals to me, but I doubt the Petroleum Companies aren't going to like it much!"

The world is changing and the future looks pretty good thanks to retired Physicist Arthur C. Collier.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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