One Million Barrels of Toxic Waste Recalled

Funny story written by Sal Manella

Saturday, 25 August 2007

image for One Million Barrels of Toxic Waste Recalled
Chinese toxic waste recalled due to high levels of lead, mercury, asbestos, and Polonium 210

It seems as though nothing imported from China is safe anymore. On the heels of recalls of various and sundry goods such as pet food, doggie rawhide chews, an array of children's toys, and Spongebob Squarepants writing tablets, comes the latest dangerous item from the Far East: TOXIC WASTE.

One million barrels of toxic waste, manufactured by Chinese exporter Enron Global, is being recalled due to high levels of lead, asbestos, mercury, and Polonium 210. Polonium 210, incidentally, was used to assassinate Alexander Litvinenko, a Russian dissident openly critical of Russian leader Vladimir Putin.

This latest hazardous Chinese export is likely to further alienate American consumers already suspicious of goods imported from China. Norbert Snodgrass, Ph.D., an international trade analyst from the Xenophobia Institute, says it is time to bring manufacturing jobs back to the United States. "There is no reason why we cannot manufacture our own toxic waste", Snodgrass said. "We can no longer trust the Chinese to provide us with safe, reliable toxic waste."

Sal Manella

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more