Bull Will Avenge Father's Death in San Fermín Festival

Written by Dignan

Monday, 13 August 2007

image for Bull Will Avenge Father's Death in San Fermín Festival

Every year, the San Fermín Festival in Pamplona, Spain brings hundreds of drunken Spaniards pressing their luck against angry bulls. The event involves hundreds of lunatics trying to outrun pissed-off bulls down a half mile stretch of cobbled streets. This year a bull named Inigo Montoya will avenge his father's death.

"He was a beautiful bull and one hell of a father," comments Inigo.

Inigo was raised by his father on a ranch west of Pamplona. Two years ago, Inigo was separated from his father when a man "wearing a white chef's uniform" took him from the ranch.

"People think we don't know what happens when one of our own gets into the rusted trailer. I hope his death was a quick and painless," says Inigo.

Inigo had a hard time adjusting to life after his father's disappearance. He found his day to day chores of coitus and eating grass tiresome, but all that changed five months ago when Inigo found out that he was chosen for the run in Pamplona. He immediately started a strict regimen of four mounts a day, balanced diet of hay, grass and water, and intense circuit training.

Inigo is quite confident that he will be the strongest and fastest bull on cobbled streets of the festival, but his eyes show the quiet anger that could only be brought from the deepest of emotional scars.

"I've devoted the last five months to my training. I'm as sharp physically as I am mentally. When I find the man wearing the white chef's uniform, I will make his death slow and painful."

Inigo sheds a tear as he acts out the monologue to his father's killer. "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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