African Women Campaign For Their Right To Mutilate

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 12 July 2007

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It has to stop. Doesn't it?

African women who practise the ancient art of 'Genital Mutilation' have spoken out against those who would put an end to their hobby, and have threatened to carry out further and more disgusting savagery.

Members of London's Somali communities have said that the mutilations are a cultural tradition - a bit like Morris Dancing or queueing for a bus in Britain, or invading a country if you're American - which they should be free to practise as they wish.

In Africa, girls as young as 4 years old are herded into a crowded market square and selected at random by a baying crowd, who then cheer every slashing movement made to their genitalia by a Mutilator - usually a village elder or other person of high rank.

Using shards of glass or razor blades, the clitoris and labia are hacked off, and served on a bed of rice to hungry village headmen, who masturbate as they eat.

Warisa Dirie, a Somalian woman who was, herself, "ripped apart" by her own mother when she was only 5 years old, said:

"They regard it as 'a sense of belonging', a tribal thing, but it should be stopped. There are up to 7,000 girls in this country at risk from this kind of circumcision."

Police chiefs in London, where most Africans now live, have announced that they have offered a £20,000 reward for information resulting in the arrest and conviction of mutilators.

Metropolitan Police Commissioner Ernest Gash told reporters:

"This fanny-slashing carnage has got way out of hand."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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