Prime Minister Tony Blair is to convert to Islam once he leaves office, it has been announced. A spokesman said "Tony has always been interested in Islam and has many Moslem friends in other countries, such as President Mubarak of Egypt and more recently General Gaddafi of Libya.".
Critics have suggested that the conversion is a sham to be invited to stay in wealthy Sheikhs' houses. One said "The Blairs have a long tradition of sponging of rich people they don't really know, like members of the Bee Gees and Cliff Richard."
The conversion will not, however, be without its drawbacks.
An Imam told us "Firstly, Mr. Blair will have to undergo an initiation, probably involving some minor terrorist act, like carrying a placard demanding the beheading of Salman Rushdie. This will show that he is a moderate Muslim. Secondly, he will require to be circumcised, which, at the age of 54, will be bloody painful. Thirdly, he will have to change his name to Osama Bin Blair, which will probably help reduce the hate calls the Blairs currently receive. Lastly, Cherie Blair will have to wear a burqa, which the Council of Moslems believes will be a good thing for the rest of us."
The downside for the Blairs of converting to Islam will be they won't be allowed to visit America any more.
The BBC has denied that it plans to produce a version of the "X Factor" called "X Snip", to find the person who will perform the circumcision on Mr. Blair.