Written by Shaun Ferguson

Friday, 22 June 2007

The Cabinet whip-round for Prime Minister Tony Blair's leaving present has led to accusations of pilfering being levelled against Deputy Prime Minister and womaniser John Prescott.

As the plate went round, 4 chocolate buttons were snatched off it and scoffed by the Deputy PM in full view of his colleagues. One Minister was overheard to call him a "thieving lard-arse".

The remainder of the collection, comprising a 50p piece, various Eastern European coins and an IOU were left untouched.

Prescott denies gluttony and has issued a statement in which he claimed lunch wasn't for another 10 minutes.

John Prescott suffers from the medical condition of "fatso-obesity" which causes substantial weight gain from the body's reaction to the intake of excessive quantities of meat pies and chip butties.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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