Written by Danny Buckle

Wednesday, 6 June 2007

Channel 4 will show still images of Prices Diana's last moments on TV tonight despite request from Prince William and Price Harry for them to refrain.

Julian Bellamy, half man, half toad and head of Channel 4 has defended his decision to show the last moments of Princess Diana's life. Sitting on a pile of dung, better known as Big Brother, and swallowing flies with his elongated tong as they swarm around his festering head he said "I have weighed the princes' concerns against my career prospects and the opportunity of making a name for myself as a total arse, and it is my belief that my personal interests are a higher priority over the agonising and very distressing situation I will put Diana's family through."

Mr Bellamy added "Frankly I couldn't give a toss. The more controversial Channel 4 appears to be the better it is for me and my insensitive arse licking cronies"

Lib Dem Shadow Culture, Media and Sport Secretary Don Foster backed Channel 4 saying "I too am a nobody who wishes to make a name for myself by appearing to be controversial" He went on, "Channel 4 are right to show this shocking and distasteful images of the life draining out of our beloved Princess because how else will spineless, untalented shits like me and Mr Bellamy get any attention. The more objectionable the better"

Once again sensationalism triumphs over decency, commonsense and any talent for journalism. This is the Golden Age of British Media.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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