Written by matthatt

Wednesday, 6 June 2007

image for Mothers to name and shame the various fathers of all their children
James Hewitt will be contacted by the CSA on behalf of the Windsors.

Single mothers are to be invited to give the go-ahead to the naming and shaming of all the deadbeat no-hoper dads that they let into their knickers for a quickie behind the kebab van on a Friday night and who fail to support their children that they probably don't even know about yet due to the confusion.

Rochelle Smith of Bermondsey said "its farking great that they done that cos I was like telling Meeshel the other day abart that Brian bloke what I got off wiv is a loser man. I fort he was well lush but I was pissed wan'I?"

Rochelle has been dating Dave for three weeks now and expecting his child.

Dave is also of a similar opinion "I tell ya man, if he evah shows is face araand 'ere again, I swear I will farking do 'im, in front of 'is kid an' all. 'ee don't give a sheet abart nuffink man. It breaks me 'art when I see little Shar-Donnay-Brooklyn curling up next to me pit-bull, finking like how she might never see her dad again"

Rochelle's other three children, Winston, 5. Charidee, 4 and Formica, 3. Have all been seen by their respective fathers in the last 18 months and contributed to their upkeep according to Rochelle.

"Yeah well Wayne is a tosser but he was a good shag though and little Formica is gorgeous, he popped into see 'er a couple of monfs ago and to pick up his bin liner of clothes what he left here. He gave me a full packet a Bensons and a 2 litre bottle of White lightening, the kids slept well that night. That's the same night I met Dave darn the chippy."

Letters are going out to around 10,000 parents - almost all of them mothers - asking if they want their former partner's name to be included on an internet list of people who have dodged maintenance payments.

A lot of people are taking up this offer, especially the ones who know the first or last name of the father.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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