German Cannibal receives capital punishment, embarrasses authorities

Funny story written by Lampros

Friday, 30 January 2004

A German court has sentenced German cannibal Johan Von Scalpburger who confessed to killing, dismembering and eating another man, to death. Prosecutors called Von Scalpburger a "human butcher" who acted simply to "satisfy a sexual impulse".

Nevertheless, the German cannibal embarrassed German authorities once again as he requested human flesh for his last meal. Under German law, death row prisoners are granted a last meal and the State is by constitution obliged to provide them with food of their choice. " Well, given the circumstances I would settle with a couple of human stakes with some fava beans and a nice bottle of Chianti. Go medium-rare on the stake please. A dip of mayo would be appreciated" said Scalpburger to the stunned prison guards.

Human Rights activists backed Scalpburgers request however, despite the huge reward, a volunteer has yet to show up.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more