German Cannibal receives capital punishment, embarrasses authorities

Funny story written by Lampros

Friday, 30 January 2004

A German court has sentenced German cannibal Johan Von Scalpburger who confessed to killing, dismembering and eating another man, to death. Prosecutors called Von Scalpburger a "human butcher" who acted simply to "satisfy a sexual impulse".

Nevertheless, the German cannibal embarrassed German authorities once again as he requested human flesh for his last meal. Under German law, death row prisoners are granted a last meal and the State is by constitution obliged to provide them with food of their choice. " Well, given the circumstances I would settle with a couple of human stakes with some fava beans and a nice bottle of Chianti. Go medium-rare on the stake please. A dip of mayo would be appreciated" said Scalpburger to the stunned prison guards.

Human Rights activists backed Scalpburgers request however, despite the huge reward, a volunteer has yet to show up.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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