Martha Stewart Dances Atop SUV After Court Appearance

Funny story written by Blind Fool -••-

Wednesday, 21 January 2004

image for Martha Stewart Dances Atop SUV After Court Appearance
Martha Stewart - Trippin'!

Ripping a page from the Michael Jackson court appearance play book, arts and crafts goddess Martha Stewart climbed her way (taking 15 minutes) on top of a black Cadillac Escalade parked just outside the courtroom moments after pleading not guilty to five criminal counts related to her 2001 sale of nearly 4,000 shares of ImClone Systems stock.

Once on top, she waved to dozens of passersby who scarcely seemed to notice her. Wanting more attention and publicity, she then claimed it was "bangin' time" and started to break dance to an indecipherable Lil' Kim piece.

The vibrations from the tricked-out Escalade's 30,000 watt subwoofers caused the 62-year-old gracious-living guru to fall down onto the hood of the SUV, but she quickly regained composure and continued to "grind it."

It is believed that these antics are a ploy to turn the case into a media circus thus either causing a mistrial or at least gaining acceptance and sympathy from the MTV crowd.

Stewart's desire to lure the younger audience has been well known ever since it was learned that she tried to merge her own magazine, LIVING, with the raunchy yet trendy Maxim. But once she learned K and Wal mart wouldn't carry it, she dropped the planned magazine merger to the disappointment of the Maxim creative staff.

After her roof-top antics, Martha and her half-dozen supporters retreated to the estate for an after-court social event. There guests were delighted with spiked sherbet/Ginger Ale punch, jello shots in the shapes of stars and guns, as well as brownies baked with her own special blend of homegrown herbs and spices.

Featured entertainment for the evening included Snoop Dog, Marylin Manson, and Clay Aiken.

Clay wasn't originally supposed to perform, but since he was there as a Martha Stewart supporter he was allowed to sing-as long as Snoop or Marylin didn't kill him.


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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