Diana death suspect revealed

Funny story written by Gareth Carpenter

Tuesday, 6 January 2004

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Diana: "Ears to us"

Princess Diana wrote a letter to her former butler Paul Burrell ten months before she died, claiming that a senior member of the Royal Family was planning her death.

And the Spoof can exclusively reveal the identity of the suspected assassin - Pharos, the Queen's late favourite Corgi.

In her letter to Burrell, Diana claimed that Pharos had taken a "deep dislike" to her and was planning "something gruesome".

"She always growls at me, especially when I laugh at Charles' ears," she wrote. "I seriously suspect that she has it in for me."

Pharos died three days before Christmas after she was mauled to death by Princess Anne's pit bull terrier Dotty. The British secret service MI5 now suspect that the killing was a revenge attack.

An inquest into Diana's death in a car crash in Paris six and a half years ago opens today. New evidence will reveal that a squat dog ‘acting suspiciously' was seen tottering away from the scene of the crash.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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