Bush Had Saddam Hung to Prevent Big Oil from Having to Pay Kickbacks

Funny story written by Cal Jennings

Wednesday, 9 May 2007

image for Bush Had Saddam Hung to Prevent Big Oil from Having to Pay Kickbacks
The Late Suddam Hussein

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington D.C. - Chevron, the second-largest American oil company, is saying that it should have known kickbacks were being paid to Saddam Hussein on oil it bought from Iraq.

The kickback deal was part of a defunct United Nations program, investigators claim. In a report released in 2004 by an investigator at the Central Intelligence Agency listed five American companies that bought oil through the program: the Coastal Corporation, a subsidiary of El Paso; Chevron; Texaco; BayOil, and Mobil, now part of Exxon Mobil.

"It was cheaper to invade his country and have him assassinated than to keep paying him kickbacks," one big oil spokesman commented. "Why should we keep paying a third world dictator when we could just as easily have him killed?"

When CalJennings asked if they felt any remorse for all the men and women who have died in the Iraq War, the oil spokesman replied, "You've got to be KIDding. We're ROLLING in dough now. What's a few hundred thousand innocent poor people when you can make THIS kind of money. You should see the kickbacks we're getting from weapons contractors!"

CalJennings asked the spokesman if there were plans against other small countries. The reply was, "Small, big... what's the difference? As long as we keep paying Bush to back the nuclear development program to keep us in the lead, we'll do whatever we want."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more