Washington DC - (Penurious Press): World Bank president Paul Wolfowitz has apologised for appearing in public without first darning his moth-eaten socks which clearly upset many international financial institutions that thought he was paid a big enough salary not to rely on thrift shop handouts.
And in a second apology Wolfowitz has said he is also very sorry for getting a State Department job for Shaha Ali Rizla, a woman he claimed had consensual sex with him on at least one occassion before puking up at the sight of his ghastly ingrowing toenails bursting out of those dumbass socks.
"I'm very sorry. I meant to get her into the Justice Department and made a stoopid mistake. I apologise to all concerned."
Miss Rizla was once a pin up for the eponymous handrolling tobacco papers that are so popular with smokers of all persuasions.
She met Wolfowitz at the World Bank and soon persuaded him of her superior talents at earning a much larger salary before the transfer to Condi Rice's department as a $250,000 per annum poster girl for their PR activities.
Wolfowitz is 69.