Billionaire space tourist Chuck Simon and two crew from the Pan-International Space Station (PISS) have safely returned to Earth.
A reporter for TheSpoof.com was on hand in Kazakhstan to witness their arrival and to get a few words with the intrepid multi-squillionair, poon hound and all round lucky fcuker.
He told our reporter "the in-flight service was great although I was a bit cheesed off that the attendants didn't wear mini skirts, that would have been cool in zero-G. But I did managed to get my end away, which always good when you have a weekend mini-break"
He informed our stunned reporter that they are all doing it up there, "as soon as a newbie arrives, it's kit off and down to business"
Floating felatio!
Zero gravity gratification!
Aerial adult acrobatics!
Apparently, According to Mr Simon, this has been going on as long as man (and woman) has been in space. He said, "I was told by one astro-naughty lady, that Michael Collins, who stayed in the command module on the first moon landing, started it all by having a quick one off the wrist while Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong skipped across the lunar surface"
Michael Collins will go down in NASAs history books as making a giant leap for hand kind.
We asked the free-floating fornicator how it was for him, " it's was great being a space punter and getting involved with the zero-G shag fest, but I am so knackered! The only problem with doing it in space is, I was up all night!
