Nostradamus - He's At It Again!

Written by Captain Dopey

Friday, 20 April 2007

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Nostradamus - predicted that this year "is 2007"

The seer and visionary Nostradamus - who came back to life half an hour ago - has proclaimed that vague, obscure and nebulous things will occur sometime in the future.

The prophet, who forecast the rise of Hitler, the atom bomb and some moths flying out of a hat in Swindon says that these events "will happen sometime", and that "we'll probably see them somewhere".

Nostradamus was born Michel De Nostranquerre De Guerrilions A La Boeuf Mes Jambons De Francois Truffaut in 1573. He was the son of the metaphysical philosopher and accordionist Viscomte 'Shindig' Nostradame, the inventor of gold. He realised he had powerful divining skills when he published a book, 'How To Develop Powerful Divining Skills', which earned him a fortune. Later in life he was to visit an uncle in Lyons, but this didn't earn him anything. His second book, 'Secrets Of The Arcane And Mysterious' - with cardboard pop-ups - was a No 1 best-seller.

In 1595, Nostradamus predicted that "these sort of flying things might be seen in the sky" - obviously a prescient description of modern-day UFOs, and that "bombs will get larger", which describes perfectly the device dropped on Hiroshima in 1945.

Since coming back to life half an hour ago, Nostradamus has been sitting chatting to his nurses and making even more prophecies. He issues a warning to people who mock him: "Beware those non-believers that chide and show contempt in their writings, for they shall..."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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