Nostradamus is back and living in Penge according Arthur Botulism from Penge. Arthur told The Spoof:
"I was coming back from the pub a few nights ago when I saw this old bloke hunting through the bins at the back of the precinct. I asked him what he was doing.
"He said he was called Nostradamus and that he had predicted lots of famous things that had come to pass but that he was down on his luck and needed a bit of a leg-up for a few months or so.
"That was good enough for me 'cos the wife loves Russell Grant and that, so I decided to take him in as a lodger"
When The Spoof visited the prophet in Arthur's spare bedroom he told us lots of things that would be happening in the near and distant future and he sounded very convincing indeed. However he asked that we don't publish any of them just in case the Inquisition catches up with him and he gets persecuted as a heretic.
We're looking for any other famous figures that readers may be putting up as lodgers; so if you've got Van Gough in your garden shed or Monet in your maisonette, get in touch with us and we might do an article on them.
We don't really predict a riot, by the way, but just wanted to use a headline that might appeal to Kaiser Chiefs fans.