Written by Pointer

Saturday, 27 January 2007

image for I, ET McCrone will wear a gas bag!
Candidate McCrone Fits Gas Bag on CEO Elsie

Candidate for PrezMinister, lift operator ET McCrone, has made a campaign promise to wear a gas bag until election day and if elected for his entire unknown term of office (unknown since there has never been a PrezMinister, leader of the USUK), I,ET McCrone will collect all of my methane. And believe me, just ask the future Mistress of USUK,McCrone's proposed title for the PrezMinister's wife (ET has been known to refer to her affectionately as the Whore of Babylon), I make a damn lot of gas!

The bag will be fitted over both of the candidates gas-releasing apertures and will only be removed for necessary ,non-gaseous emissions. "Methane,as many of you intercontinental farters may know, is the next big source of alternative fuel. My gas will lower you fuel bills! I'll attach a pedo-ometer (a product of Spain) to measure my daily output and my website will keep track of just how much energy I save the USUK."

McCrone's demonstration is his effort at dramatizing his plan to capture the gaseous fumes of "every fartin' bastard in the world from cow to countess!" as he puts in his campaign literature.Countess Maria Von Trapdoor has been one of the most outspoken old farts against the plan besides Borden's Ceo Elsie D. Kaow. The Countess said at a recent rally against the plan:"McCrone can shove his gas bag up his aperture!". Ceo Kaow at the same rally said: "Moooooo!".

When asked to comment on the opposition's remarks, McCrone said that he hoped he could persuade both of these opponents to try the gas bag just for a while. If they didn't see its value then I would tell both Elsie and the Countess to "Take gas!".

McCrone's newest variation on his campaign slogan is E.T.McCrone, Methane Man, -Low Class in Two Lands-

GGGooiinnnggg UP!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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