Man Had Unpleasant Experience At Market

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 20 July 2020

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It was a bit stifling, to be honest

It was a real blue ribbon event in one household today, when a man who had been kept 'cooped-up' by his wife for four months due to Coronavirus worries, was finally allowed 'off the leash', for a trip to the local market.

Moys Kenwood, 57, had been kept in an almost perpetual state of Lockdownery since 16 March, champing at the bit, until his wife finally gave him the nod, and told him to get ready, and that he was going to help her carry the shopping.

He gleefully grabbed his helmet, and beamed all the way to Battambang Market, and even for a few seconds after he entered it.

But not for much longer.

The putrid stench of the various carcasses on show, and the veritable rivers of animals' blood flowing through the gutters in front of each stall, gave the place the feel of an abbatoir, and he began to feel a bit oppressed.

The universal redness of his surroundings seemed to raise the temperature to 'unbearable', and the smell of the gore started to turn his stomach.

He felt his breakfast rising once more, and told his wife he'd meet her at the motorbike, darting for the exit, a pig's head grinning at him as he went.

Mrs Kenwood was talking to three stallholders about the tenderness of some pork, and they all chuckled at the sight of his green-tinged face.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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