A Desperate Trump Orders New York Philharmonic, Dennis Rodman to North Korea

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Saturday, 27 July 2019

The White House, Washington, D.C. Following North Korea's latest missile tests, and with little movement in the direction of a deal with North Korea's Kim Jong Un, President Donald Trump today took all negotiations away from his foreign service office and called on the entertainment and sports world to do what he couldn't accomplish at Singapore or Hanoi.

Trump has ordered the New York Philharmonic to make a second appearance at the concert hall in Pyongyang, emulating their successful performance that captured the hearts of North Koreans in 2008.

Trump has also ordered former basketball star Dennis Rodman, whose affection for Kim rivals that of the president, to perform with the orchestra, delivering harmonious lines from Abraham Lincoln's speeches to the accompaniment of the musicians.

The North Koreans were so enamored of both Rodman and the phil, that the president expects their performance to break the logjam on denuclearization of the peninsula.

"If anyone can break this stalemate, Dennis is the one," the president predicted. "I think the music will lull Kim into a negotiable mood."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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