Catholic Church Plans Bring-And-Buy Sales To Raise Money For Notre-Dame Repairs

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 17 April 2019

image for Catholic Church Plans Bring-And-Buy Sales To Raise Money For Notre-Dame Repairs
All that's left of Notre Dame

After the horrendous events of last weekend, when the 850-year-old Notre-Dame cathedral in Paris was severely damaged by fire, the Catholic church has announced several money-raising schemes to pay for its repair.

The fire caused damage estimated at €1billion.

Rome has advised that, in every churchyard location possible, a bring-and-buy sale be organized. Little cakes are especially welcome.

Children will also be asked to lend their support by doing odd jobs, such as washing the pots, mowing the lawn, going to the shops, or cleaning the car for family, friends and neighbors. A small sum for each task completed will be applicable.

All proceeds will go to the church.

As well as this, straightforward, plain-and-simple cash donations will also be welcome, as the Notre-Dame de Paris Survival Fund gets under way.

There is a question about the insurance of the building, but we have been asked not to "go there".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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