Man's Valentine's Day Gift Went Unappreciated

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 14 February 2019

image for Man's Valentine's Day Gift Went Unappreciated
Beryl putting a slice in

A man who thoughtfully bought his wife a Valentine's Day gift of a new top-of-the-range toaster, has told of the negative way in which the gift was received.

Malcolm Green, of Manchester, purchased the white, 2-slice toaster from a local electrical dealer on Wednesday, when he realised Valentine's Day was upon him, and he had to get something to avoid a scene with his loving other half, Beryl. He said:

"Our toaster had given up the ghost last week. It hadn't done bad; we'd had it for nearly 20 years. In fact, I think I'd bought it as an anniversary present back around 2000, so it didn't owe us anything!"

But Beryl wasn't impressed, apparently. Malcolm:

"She hit the roof. According to what I can gather, she wanted flowers or chocolates, new shoes and a handbag, or a slap-up meal with no expenses spared. Something of that magnitude. She showed no appreciation whatsoever."

Malcolm was mortified:

"I told her: 'It's not Christmas, you know!' and that was the end of that. I'll be sleeping in the shed tonight."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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