President Erdogan of Turkey has said “the naked truth” will be revealed this coming Tuesday on the Jamal Khashoggi case.
In response, Lady Truth was overheard murmuring something as she stepped out of her daily bath onto a rubber floormat.
Apparently she said (quoting Mr. James Clapper, former Director of the NSA):
“Truth is always naked except when it is the least untruthful truth.”
At this moment this Clapper Principle for Governing is being applied eagerly by Saudi Arabia over Khashoggi’s murder.
The murder was:
a) didn’t happen;
b) a flaming tissue of lies;
c) possibly done by rogue elements:
d) a cover up by loyalists to the Saudis who got carried away and merely wanted to question him around a chokehold;
e) result of a fever contracted by the assassins, not used to Turkey’s weather.
f) under no circumstances are the King and The Crown Prince responsible; they were playing pool at the time.
Lady Truth has also insisted on separating herself from females in current bum-fixation parades, soccer games, etc.
“Truth can certainly be arousing, but surely only toward common decency and simple intelligence as its first target,” she said.
Nevertheless, certain individuals in global governing have immediately responded to this possibility “Naked Truth” is about to step forward.
Mr. Clinton is reported very interested in taking a look at the Lady, as with Harvey Weinstein, and Mr. Wiener.
Mr. Trump has noted: “I’m too busy right now for this sort of thing, but in the past, yes, I was definitely interested.”
Whether Lady Truth can be induced into a spread in Penthouse Magazine is also under consideration, “with all due modesty regarding positioning and display.”
Mr. Erdogan has been available for comment: “Look, this naked truth WILL come out unless we can get a deal somehow to help out our economic problems at this time.”
In which case, (economic deal) all those tapes, and reporters from official Turkish news sources, all the currently emerging details which only Lady Truth knows intimately, could be scrubbed, thoroughly.
The Saudis could breathe a collective sigh the size of a windstorm on a November morning.
Whistle blowers could be offered residence in sundry prison houses featuring dank cells with cockroaches.
Lady Truth again:
“Well, I am certainly most happy to be naked in front of you all, but the question is whether y'all will open your eyes at that point to see me?”
“Unfortunately, the historical record on this matter is not good.”