Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 29 March 2018

image for First April Fools Easter Sunday Since Crucifiction Says ‘Eater Of Blood’ Prof
Absolutely no cannibals here Professor

Jerusalem, Israel - A highly successful Ancient Judean hoax is coming full circle this weekend according to the author of a book about Christian subjugation to Jewish ritual cannibalism during the dark daze of the Roman Plague.

Former Chief Rabbis’s son Professor Ariel Toaff, whose 2007seminal tome 'Eater of Blood: Euroseptic Jews and Ritual Homicide' caused a furore on publication, is adamant Sunday’s April Fools Day will rock Christendom.

The day will be the first April 1st Easter Sunday for 2,018 years - something highly significant given recent Grateful Dead Sea Scroll transcrypts about the Kabbalah.

And other crucial Old Testament snuff. Uh, Stuff.

Toaff’s critics continue to widely poo-poo most of his theories - including those about ‘infant Christian males subjected to crucifiction’ by ‘Judas Iscariot descendants in hock to King Herod’s debt collectors’.

However a scholarly peer base still cites the author’s descriptions of Jewish cannibal experimentation with babies’ blood for magic and therapeutic ritual purposes - such as the manufacture of kosher black pudding, a Passover culinary must.

“We think the Prof’s about to blow the lid on Jewish oral suction circumcisions,” rival Talmudic scholar Dr Ehud Kabanos tweeted this morning.

“The Easter Sunday/April Fools Day theory slightly sucks.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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