First April Fools Easter Sunday Since Crucifiction Says ‘Eater Of Blood’ Prof

Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 29 March 2018

image for First April Fools Easter Sunday Since Crucifiction Says ‘Eater Of Blood’ Prof
Absolutely no cannibals here Professor

Jerusalem, Israel - A highly successful Ancient Judean hoax is coming full circle this weekend according to the author of a book about Christian subjugation to Jewish ritual cannibalism during the dark daze of the Roman Plague.

Former Chief Rabbis’s son Professor Ariel Toaff, whose 2007seminal tome 'Eater of Blood: Euroseptic Jews and Ritual Homicide' caused a furore on publication, is adamant Sunday’s April Fools Day will rock Christendom.

The day will be the first April 1st Easter Sunday for 2,018 years - something highly significant given recent Grateful Dead Sea Scroll transcrypts about the Kabbalah.

And other crucial Old Testament snuff. Uh, Stuff.

Toaff’s critics continue to widely poo-poo most of his theories - including those about ‘infant Christian males subjected to crucifiction’ by ‘Judas Iscariot descendants in hock to King Herod’s debt collectors’.

However a scholarly peer base still cites the author’s descriptions of Jewish cannibal experimentation with babies’ blood for magic and therapeutic ritual purposes - such as the manufacture of kosher black pudding, a Passover culinary must.

“We think the Prof’s about to blow the lid on Jewish oral suction circumcisions,” rival Talmudic scholar Dr Ehud Kabanos tweeted this morning.

“The Easter Sunday/April Fools Day theory slightly sucks.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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