Girls on Cannes beach arrested for covering up too much

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Monday, 22 August 2016

image for Girls on Cannes beach arrested for covering up too much
As part of plea deal the girls agreed to modernize their image

Arrested for trop d'habits ("too much attire"), the teenagers were wearing bathing suits from the 1950's, their grandmothers' time.

They put on these old bathing suits "for fun" and were actually relieved that men were not always "staring, you know, where they stare."

But, according to new rules from Cannes, these old-style bathing costumes are "hostile to diversity and women's emancipation."

This is the same language used for the current ban on burqinis.

A spokesperson for the mayor's office, Ms. Rebecca Verslebas, explained the dynamics re these beach costumes were similar in the 1950's.

"Not modesty, no," she explained. "Women of that era wanted to go scanty just as we have done today, and will continue to do."

That is, according to Ms. Verslebas, female consensus today (and this is not groupthink, she cautioned) is the right to do scanty whenever and wherever.

She approved of recent internet demonstration with three teenage girls posing with string tops only, in a moon-over-my-hammy moment at Lake House Getaway in the USA.

There is some confusion in the male mind, she asserted, as to the intent of women's freedom in pursuing scanty.

"We do not wish to dangle ourselves like an ice cream cone to be gobbled," she said. "The issue is choice--to show ourselves if we wish."

But suppose a woman prefers to avoid scanty toward what she considers more modest?


However, Dr. Roland Versafondre, of Princeton University's Studies in Scanty, has weighed in with some caution:

"So far we are not showing male boredom as a problem with scanty, nor significant drop in arousal and fluid levels.

"However, the Le Trop Mince syndrome (showing too much) could reverse toward a little more covering as more evocative."

Ms. Verslebas rejoined: "Entirely misses the point! We are not scanty to be evocative. This is who we are!"

A silence.

"Besides that," Ms. Verslebas continued, "with upcoming contests any training ideas are appreciated."


"Miss M & M, Miss More and Miss Most, Miss Bigger and Better, and Miss Ultimately Beddable."

"I see."

"Nothing sleazy."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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