My Senior Moments for W/E: 29th April 2012

Funny story written by Inchcock

Sunday, 29 April 2012

image for My Senior Moments for W/E: 29th April 2012
The new Nottingham City logo?

Sunday 22nd April 2012
* Had to stop using computer, as the pains in hands got worse than ever, and I dropped my dinner, amazingly the plate did not break though!
* PM hands a bit better, back on the keyboard!

Monday 23rd April 2012
* Had a bath, 5 min's to run it, 16 minutes wash & soak, and 15 minutes to get out of it!
* Went over to see Margaret and Stew, but they'd gone out.
* Decided today, to take a hobble into Arnold for me walkabout, then get bus back, if or rather when the knees started playing up. Plodded on for about 45 minutes, and was half way there, when I realised I'd put different coat on cause it were raining, and left me bus-pass at home! Swore profusely, and limped back to base.
* Got things ready for QMC INR blood level tests in the morning. making sure bus-pass was in pocket!

Tuesday 24th April 2012
*Up early, hands/fingers not bad, so had go on laptop.
* Found me mobile phone from Sunday, when I dropped the milk, bent down (gingerly) to pick the carton up, and saw the Nokia in one of me old slippers? Pass! But it in bag with other stuff.
* Set off early, and took only 1hr 38mins to walk there. Had tests done early and quickly. I suspected the levels might be high, when after taking the blood to send to Haematology/Arthritis Clinic for testing, I had to stand there for ages with me arm up in the air, pressing on the vein to encourage the blood to stop flowing. I felt like wot Herr Hess must have at a Hitler rally, with incoming patients passing and giving me funny looks! One wit actually gave me a salute back and smirked. You've got to laugh!
* When it eventually stopped, I still felt good, so opted to walk home again, feeling chuffed with myself. That was a mistake.
* Got a call later from clinic - the INR levels were far too high. Instructed not to take any Warfarin tonight, then follow last weeks dosage for other days, and go back for tests on Monday, then Tuesday as well next week. Possible direct injection required (into the ticker) if level does not drop.

Wednesday 25th April 2012
* Hands and fingers bad again today, started paining and stiffening in the afternoon. Wondered if it was something to do with the high INR levels? Trying not to drop anything, or cut myself when the fingers freeze with pain!
* Cleaning me teeth, and it took me ages to get me grip from the brush, as both hands at once were affected this time! But try to make an appointment with doc tomorrow, it usually takes several days to get in.

Thursday 26th April 2012
* Nipped over see mate Stewart and the lovely Margaret. Went to shop get him some nosh, chicken, potatoes, and eggs. Returned to his house, dropped off the food, then returned to the shop get the milk I forgot to get for myself.

Friday 27th April 2012
* Up and in the WC. Made a cuppa. On the web 0400hrs. To the WC. It's going to be one of those days again, I can tell!
* Going to meet brother-in-law this morning for his treatment at QMC, he's not very good at medical matters, give him a bit of support.

Saturday 28th April 2012
* Fingers far better this morning, got on with Spoofing. During which the laptop told me to 'disable sticky-keys'. So I followed instructions to do so. Whilst carrying this out, I was almost sure I could hear voices! I went into the kitchen, no sounds there, looked out of the front door in case a gang was lurking, nothing there. Looked out of the back door, nothing.
Back to the laptop, and heard voices again.
Searched and found me hearing aids and put 'em in.
Then realised it was the laptop guiding me through the process of turning off the keys! Huh!

Sunday 29th April 2012
* No sleep, did Spoofing through the night. During which, I visited the WC countless times, without my noticing I'd left the hot tap on again!
* The rain's pelting down, but that's kept the yobs from bothering me - hurrah!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more