Written by Toeknee Abcess

Tuesday, 8 September 2015

In an unprecedented feat of economic management the Greek government has amassed a massive national mattress treasure chest in just 3 months and is considering buying parts of Germany with the surplus.

Greek Finance Minister Lonus Badetus explained. "We established the Department of People Smuggling in Athens using spare public servants. And, using loans on loans on loans the Germans paid us recently, we organised a mass evacuation of Syria, Iraq and parts of Yemen at ten euros a head. We put them all up at the Kos backpackers for a fifty euros a night then oncharged them to the Krauts at twenty eurosIn an unprecented feat of economic management the Greek government has amassed a massive national mattress treasure chest in just 3 months and is considering buying parts of Germany with the surplus.

Greek Finance Minister Lonus Badetus explained. "We established the Department of People Smuggling in Athens using spare public servants. And, using loans on loans on loans the Germans paid us recently, we organised for a mass evacuation of Syria, Iraq and parts of Yemen at ten euros a head. We put them all up at the Kos backpackers for a fifty bucks a night then oncharged them to the Krauts at twenty bucks each".

"It's  been a real moneyspinner" Badetus explained. "Combined with defaulting yet again on our international debts, Greek mattresses haven't  been this stuffed in decades".

Badetus got excited talking about further plans. "We've pretty much emptied out the Middle East. Africa's looking promising with Boko Haram causing serious strife so that'll  be our next target market. We can fund our "retire at 30" pension fund again, maintain a 45% unemployment rate and work a 3 day fortnight. Sweet."

Angeka Merkel is facing increasing pressure at home to tell the Greeks to "Fucken Zee Orf" but so far has fallen short of an official statement. Insiders cite the need for cheap labour in Germany to look after millions of ageing SS guard children as the main reason for her reticence. each".

"It's  been a real moneyspinner" Badetus explained. "Combined with defaulting yet again on our international debts, Greek mattresses haven't  been this stuffed in decades".

Badetus got excited talking about further plans. "We've pretty much emptied out the Middle East. Africa's looking promising with Boko Haram causing serious strife so that'll  be our next target market. We can fund our "retire at 30" pension fund again, maintain a 45% unemployment rate and work a 3 day fortnight. Sweet."

German Chancellor Angela Merkel is facing increasing pressure at home to tell the Greeks to "Fucken Zee Orf" but so far has fallen short of an official statement. Insiders cite the need for cheap labour in Germany to look after millions of ageing SS guard children as the main reason for her reticence.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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