Farage In Homophobic Outburst on FIFA 14

Funny story written by Jack Allen

Thursday, 22 May 2014


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Farage only chooses quick wingers, runs down the wing, and plays short passes across the goal to score...

Nigel Farage could stand to lose UKIP a substantial amount of votes after stating that the computer game Pro Evolution Soccer is only played by "fucking homos" and "dykes".

Mr Farage, a huge fan of the FIFA franchise and good friend of Richard Scudamore, was caught out as he played FIFA 14 online yesterday evening.

The comments made by Farage (playing as Real Madrid) came after his 80th minute winning goal against 12 year old Max Brooman (playing as Columbus Crew). Nigel allegedly screamed, "haha! You fucking homo! What are you, a Pro Evo bashing dyke?! You should've played 5 at the back you dick licking lazy Romanian!" Farage then added insult to injury as he watched 4 replays of his goal, which was a shot from six yards out, and then constantly paused the game during the final ten minutes to make pointless changes to his tactics and formation.

Whilst the obviously confusing abuse has been condemned by all political parties excluding the BNP, Farage's homophobic comments have inadvertently caused a spike in FIFA 14 sales and online activity for the game.

Matt Prior, Lead Producer of the FIFA franchise, said today that, "He (Farage) appeals to a key demographic of football fans worldwide. They keep this brand going! We might even create and upload a 'Farage All Star 11' including Mel Gibson, Sepp Blatter and that fan that threw a banana at Alves. We'll see what happens".

UKIP have responded to the above incident by saying that online gaming is "the only achilles heel in Nigel's life" and that he only had access to an online gaming account because he paid a Latvian hacker to get him online.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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