Toronto, Canada - An otherwise healthy 30-something male is claiming state disability handouts after waking one morning to find that he'd grown a pair of antlers on his head.
Harley Broomsdork said the 18-inch, Monarch-of-the-Glen-style protruberances suddenly sprouted after he drank a lot of Deerstalker Whisky at a friend's stag night.
The growths make him only the 600th Canadian to suffer the condition, thought to be brought on by rutting season fantasies and a surfeit of duff cocaine.
Commenting on his monthly welfare check of $1,000 Broomsdork said the money was small recompense for the permanent headache his new appendages were causing.
To make things fair he has now offer d to leave his head to science - with the small provision that it eventually hangs in the wildlife section of Toronto Natural Hystery Museum.
Or next to Anna Nicole Smith'd knockers at the Smithsonian.