London - Accomplished London Borough of Tooting crack dealer Ham Id El-Weedi has been identified as serial beheader Jihadi John.
Described by notorious gangland mobsters the Kray Twins as 'mild mannered and kittenish' in comparison to Mrs Thatcher el-Weedi is the FBI's top-wanted decapitation thug.
This evening TV reports from Bogeymanistan showed him smoking a 'bloody great big hookah' at the 'run down social housing estate' where cops reckon the terrorist was radicalised.
A cloud of purplish Equinox Skunk hexoplasm wafts around the Jihadi's chillum creating vague 'IS' patterns in the stagnant London air.
Psychologists assessing el-Weedi said they believe he arrived in Great Britain as a brand new baby after shady dealings with a disgruntled Kuwaiti whose wife left him for a Dobermann Mastiff.
And so he was adopted under the radar while his actual birth mother - a very important lady Tory - was bunged a few hundred thou from a Chinese bank.
Commenting one el-Weedi's imminent capture a FBI dog handler said, 'Woof, Woof!' tonight.
All frights deserved.
