Richard Cheney to request land in Texas for Iraq Memorial Park featuring shrines and oil derricks

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Friday, 20 June 2014

image for Richard Cheney to request land in Texas for Iraq Memorial Park featuring shrines and oil derricks
This statue in the likeness of Mr. Cheney will adorn the entrance to the new museum

According to Mr. Cheney's office, a request has been made to Governor Rick Perry, and the state of Texas, for land to be set aside as a special memorial park dedicated to the 2003 war in Iraq.

Mr. George W. Bush, now a resident of Texas, has added his approval, and indicated his portraits of Saddam Hussein and other figures might be used. His lawyers will work out the financial details.

The park would include a museum complete with the story of the Iraq War, plus numerous exhibits.

Simulated oil derrick exhibits will be added under the title "Moving Iraq into the modern age with the guidance of American Industries."

Another exhibit will show the new governing parliament in session under the leadership of Nouri al-Maliki.

It will bear the title: "Iraq, beacon of democracy in the middle east."

All visitors to this memorial will, first, be required to watch a movie narrated by Mr. Cheney, explaining the history of the War In Iraq in two parts.

Part A, the invasion of 2003, was a great victory for both the US and, most importantly, Iraq itself. A land formerly ruled by a ruthless tyrant was freed and converted to democracy.

Of course after some years of battle there was an agreement that the US forces would leave Iraq.

However, to be clear, Mr. Maliki's insistence on this departure, plus his refusal to grant immunity to the US for war crimes if a force stayed, plus Mr. Muqtada al-Sadr's insistence that his million man Sadrist army would not rest until the US left the territory, was not all that important.

The US left because the peace had been earned. Only a few western oil companies--including Exxon Mobil, Chevron, BP, and Mr. Cheney's own Halliburton--remained in heavily guarded areas as part of the severance agreement.

Next, Part B, again narrated by Mr. Cheney, will show that a new American president came along who simply could not handle Iraq effectively. He withdrew all forces from Iraq as had been agreed under President Bush, and all hell broke loose.

All that hell of course had nothing to do with the 2003 invasion and US support of Mr. Maliki, or Mr. Maliki's running of the country.

The fault must be laid to the current terrorists, as well as a weak US President unable to respond.

Obviously these ISIS types of extremists who are running amok here and there need to be restrained properly. (They may, at times, be useful elsewhere, as in Syria.)

Restraint of these criminals is exactly what Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney provided in 2003 (with some assistance from the UK's Mr. Blair) to assure world stability.

Mr. Cheney's museum will be testimony that the invasion of 2003 was one of the most heroic moments in world history and a lesson on what to do now.

The museum will be circled by heavy, fortified walls, guarded by marines 24/7, and patrolled by regular fly-over from nearby air force bases.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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