New war app developing for latest State Department ideas as with bombing Syria to back off Russia in Ukraine

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Tuesday, 29 April 2014

image for New war app developing for latest State Department ideas as with bombing Syria to back off Russia in Ukraine
The new app offers percentage ratings on likelihood of war action globally

Major internet companies are announcing a new app which will pipeline US State Department interests in encouraging wars here and there across the globe.

This development has been inspired by a German innovation which locates comfort females on the streets, complete with GPS mapping and guidance.

A spokesperson for the IT industry explains the new war app gives consumers immediate feedback on war plans, plus links to world stock exchanges and which companies are most promising.

It also provides supplemental links to historical war policy as with the full text of the "speak softly and carry a big stick" and "full-spectrum dominance" war philosophies of the past century.

The consumer can use this geo-positioning tool to focus on territories across the globe and immediately find all US war interests and developments at that particular station.

US global war interests of the current government-industrial complex are given a percentage rating as to high or low interest and likelihood of action.

At this time Denmark has a low percentage rating on likelihood of the US going-to-war-there, whereas Yemen and South Sudan are in the high upper percentages.

Ms. Anne-Marie Slaughter's new proposal is immediately channeled in full detail by this app. She previously worked under Hillary Clinton, and may have in mind Ms. Clinton's presidential candidacy and future opportunities.

Ms. Slaughter has suggested an attack on Syria would resurrect last August's interest in bombing Syria over the bogus sarin gas claims.

It would also "echo loudly" in Russia by showing the US is serious about its intentions with Ukraine.

Her theory continues that Russia would then stop resisting US moves and retreat from any military type posture.

The app also registers feedback on her proposal, which ranges from enthusiastic cheering and foot-stamping in the halls of congress to evaluation of the idea by Mr. Patrick Lang, retired Army colonel, as "preposterous" and a "satire of actual strategic thought."

Mr. Kerry's office has reported support for Ms. Slaughter's idea since Mr. Kerry's speeches are considered by Washington insiders too quiet on the "speak softly and carry a big stick" advice from President Teddy Roosevelt.

That is, Mr. Kerry's speaking "softly" has only modestly implied "big stick" in a moralistic sense of how one lectures a child holding the stolen cookies behind his back.

This approach has somewhat backfired into snickering behind the hand in certain regions of the world. The result has not been favorable to Mr. Kerry since the US likelihood-of-war-there index has wavered into wide discrepancies up and down--with economic consequences.

On the other hand, Ms. Slaughter's notions have revived app readings and percentages in both the Syria and Ukraine regions.

The stock market is responding favorably, but there are indications the cost of downloading the app may increase this summer.

A special introductory discount price is now available.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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