A man who is a firm believer in the powerful and perceptive mind and prophecies of the 16th century astrologer Nostradamus, says he isn't too concerned about the Coronavirus pandemic, because the Frenchman didn't mention it. Moys Kenwood, 57, has…
PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA - The world famous groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, made his annual appearance today, kind of saw his shadow, and proclaimed to America that there will be six more weeks of climate change. We spoke to Phil about his celebrity status and the pressure of accurately predicting the weather to hundreds of millions each year: Good morning, Phil. How's it going? "Oh hey, welcome to my...
Major internet companies are announcing a new app which will pipeline US State Department interests in encouraging wars here and there across the globe. This development has been inspired by a German innovation which locates comfort females on th...
Salon de Provence, France - A recent discovery in the attic of an old chateau yielded additions to the legendary prophesies of Michel de Nostradame, popularly known as Nostradamus. Professor Yves de Shrimpone held a news conference yesterday at Ins...
SAVANNAH, Georgia - Little six-year-old Savannah Stubenberger, who was named after her grandmother Savannah Bacardi, has become one of the town of Savannah's most famous residents. Little Savannah, who attends Mrs. Robert E. Lee Elementary School,...
New York NY: The Columbia University School of Abnormal Psychology has developed a mathematical computer model to predict the interests of current and former political figures after they leave office. Professor Freud (no relation to Sigmund) expla...
OUTERFUCKINGSPACE MA (ABSNN) - Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney attacked President Obama's Cairo Embassy personnel who stated that the Anti-Muslim media blitz (that movie-that Florida preacher who burned the Koran) was causing hurt feeling...
Team GB will win 27 gold medals at the Olympic Games, by far its largest haul in a century, according to an Irishman who drinks in a pub opposite the Olympic Site. Seamus O'Derekson, 49, from Bow Road, East London, says he plucked the figure out o...
What can we expect from the Newspapers (if there are any trees left by then) in 2062? If prices go up at the same rate as they have done for the last 50 years?..... Adverts in 2062: Cameron-Clegg Almalgamated Food Mega-Stores (Originally Tesco & Sainsbury's util William Hague bought them out and gave the company to Cameron and Clegg as a Christmas present in 2045) This weeks offer...
MEXICO CITY-People around the world are now saying "Mayan who?" as it appears that the ancient civilization known as the Mixtec have miraculously foretold the exact time and day when their calendar will come to an end. The Mixtec, who originated...
What will the world be like in 2012? Now we have an idea, but in the past people could only wonder. In 1912, a group of leading scientists wrote a book about their predictions for the world 100 years into the future. Their conjectures cover everyday life, global politics, society and new inventions that may exist. The book, entitled "The World in 2012", was lost long ago but has recently been redi...
Kaiser Chiefs front man Ricky Wilson said today that in spite of long-term criticism about the band's predictions, they felt vindicated in the light of current events. "We've been saying for years that this was going to happen," he told reporters...
A two headed Royal python has been discovered in an amphibian and reptile shop in Germany. The snake was born a year ago, and has two spinal cords and two heads - and they're both active. "The reptile has no physical problems or defects," say...
Paul the Octopus (reportedly hatched January 2008; died 26 October 2010) was a common octopus from Weymouth, England. Paul lived in a tank at a commercial attraction, the Sea Life Centre in Oberhausen, Germany and became internationally famous after...
She's well-known for making her New Year's psych[ot]ic predictions. After which she hibernates for 6 weeks then is woken up by her followers. If they see her shadow another prediction is revealed with winter continuing for another 6 weeks. Now we...
Astrologer and part-time charlatan Mystic Magwitch today made her predictions for the world in 2010, and here in The Sunset we can exclusively reveal them to you. And all for just believing everything you read in the papers. 2010: January - Freezing weather sweeps across Great Britain, plunging the nation into chaos. Snow, sleet, black ice, freezing fog, none of which have ever happened befo...
Professor Charles Simpson of the Nothing Better To Do University of Ipswich has analysed the 2003 Busted Track "Year 3000" and discovered that far from being a mere catchy pop tune, the song is a harbinger of things to come, and a remarkably propheti...
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