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Funny satire stories about John Kerry

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Bo Jo chickens out on his past buffoonery!

Funny story: Bo Jo chickens out on his past buffoonery!

New UK Foreign Secretary, still-buffoon, ex mayor of London, and general circus clown, Bo Jo, has made his first appearance alongside US Secretary of State, John Kerry, ex-actor in the Addams Family, and now bearing a grey haired wig over his neck bo...

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John Kerry 'Accidentally' Nukes The Onion, Sky Doesn't Fall In (2/2)

How have people received John Kerry's recent nuclear annhilation of The Onion? We'll start off with Hillary Clinton. Now listen here, young man. With all due respect, reporter… which ain't very much, let's be… Ah, HONEST… Erm… Well anyway, why so fastidious? Huh? I mean, you know, maybe Iran are, say, just a few decades ahead of schedule in developing nukes and this is the first...

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John Kerry 'Accidentally' Nukes The Onion, Sky Doesn't Fall In (1/2)

Notable public figure, hilariously swiftboated, um, SWIFTBOAT political celebrity and darling of the MSNBC broadcasting-apologetical complex John Kerry… Well, he's just made yet another honest mistake in a somewhat lengthy line of honest mistakes. John Kerry has put his hermeneutical philosophy of 'The Constitution is a living document' into practice via a creative reinterpretation of the Fi...

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Trump: Obama Couldn't Make A Good Deal With Iran If He Were Spotted Two Camels

Funny story: Trump: Obama Couldn't Make A Good Deal With Iran If He Were Spotted Two Camels

BILLINGSGATE POST: This Sunday on Face the Nation, Donald Trump told the panel of hand-picked liberal soothsayers that President Obama was absolutely over matched in his negotiations with Iran. With a disdainful gesture, he offered that Secretary Ke...

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John Kerry denies he was doing lazy 8s

A little earlier today, I contacted Mass. General Hospital to check on the status of Secretary of State Kerry because of his bicycle accident. I had to pull some strings to get inside, but I managed to reach his doctor, Dr. Handleman Keurner, chie...

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John Kerry hospitalised after copycat Bush maneuver

Funny story: John Kerry hospitalised after copycat Bush maneuver

Switzerland - The US Secretary of Snakes has fallen off his bike after attempting to channel George W Bush's famous Gleneagles maneuver. 69-year old John F Kerry was in the Alps demonstrating the former US President's signature 'saddlesore' posit...

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John Kerry/EU: You're Gonna Make me Verbose When You Go

John Kerry has issued a (somewhat) heartfelt and (entirely) disinterested plea for Europe to stay in the EU. But for some reason his customary shine, polish and wide-eyed eloquence of a typical well-beloved fairly centre-leaning Secretary of State has temporarily deserted him. For some inexplicable reason, the notable public figure in question is straying into the kind of long-winded verbo...

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Turkey answers Cantlie video with new hostage reporter on the Kobani border

Funny story: Turkey answers Cantlie video with new hostage reporter on the Kobani border

The startling John Cantlie video from Kobani just posted by ISIS has been answered from across the border in Turkey by a new video featuring a reporter named Clarence Willnotlie. Analysts suspect this new "reporter" may not be a hostage under any...

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Several Members of John Kerry's Security Detail Drop Dead From Boredom

Jerusalem - Most people would assume that working in a Secret Service position for a high ranking government official would be one of the most adrenaline-filled, exciting jobs one could ever have. But when that high ranking government official ha...

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US sending 500 million down the rathole of Syria to carefully vetted rebels at various sign-up stations directed by Mr. Kerry

Funny story: US sending 500 million down the rathole of Syria to carefully vetted rebels at various sign-up stations directed by Mr. Kerry

President Obama and his State Department are insisting there is no contradiction whatever between supporting Sunni rebels in Syria and fighting them in Iraq. The key safeguard is the "careful vetting." As Mr. Kerry has shown repeatedly, the US...

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Egypt's al-Sisi bites Kerry's ear

Funny story: Egypt's al-Sisi bites Kerry's ear

Egypt's president, Abdel Fatah al-Sisi, is claiming his recent response to Mr. Kerry's ear was inspired by world cup soccer player Luis Suarez, and "couldn't be avoided." After the recent verdict concerning the Al Jazeera journalists, Mr. Kerry, w...

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Crude will rocket to $150 a barrel as Iranian 'peacekeepers' help Iraq

Funny story: Crude will rocket to $150 a barrel as Iranian 'peacekeepers' help Iraq

Washington - Iran's Ayatollahs are offering to pour oil on troubled waters by sending a 100,000-strong pisskeeping farce to neighboring Iraq. A lot of Russian-sourced hardware like ground-to-air missal launchers and photon torpedoes are also thoug...

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Bargain Basement Prices: One US Private For Five Taliban Generals

Funny story: Bargain Basement Prices: One US Private For Five Taliban Generals

President Obama has done it again. He refers to it as: "No soldier left behind." In reality, the prisoner of war exchange was more like a bargain basement sale: five for one. Obana was also interested in closing Guantanamo. Apparently one US priv...

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Secretary Kerry proposes his own resignation to start new how-to-man-up school

Funny story: Secretary Kerry proposes his own resignation to start new how-to-man-up school

A spokesperson for White House Press Secretary Jay Carney has denied Mr. Kerry is seeking permission to resign and start a new school emphasizing "how to man up." But this rumor has persisted since Mr. Kerry insisted on CBS news that Edward Snowde...

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New war app developing for latest State Department ideas as with bombing Syria to back off Russia in Ukraine

Funny story: New war app developing for latest State Department ideas as with bombing Syria to back off Russia in Ukraine

Major internet companies are announcing a new app which will pipeline US State Department interests in encouraging wars here and there across the globe. This development has been inspired by a German innovation which locates comfort females on th...

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MSM and State Department to be given awards for horse stool factor in the news

Funny story: MSM and State Department to be given awards for horse stool factor in the news

A spokesperson for US and UK main stream media and Secretary Kerry has admitted the quality of information on current and forthcoming wars has been re-configured. It now has the status of materials falling from the hind quarters of various horses...

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Baseball's umpires-in-New-York system applied to international disputes backfires and alarms The Pope

Funny story: Baseball's umpires-in-New-York system applied to international disputes backfires and alarms The Pope

As with current major league baseball rules for challenging controversial calls, international disputes are now monitored similarly. An umpire from the US is joined by one from Russia, with the third appointed by The Vatican. The three calls to...

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The President's clothes in disarray with sundry elephants in the room (and aboard Air Force One)

Funny story: The President's clothes in disarray with sundry elephants in the room (and aboard Air Force One)

President Obama is reported seeking a hair and wardrobe advisor, who is also versatile with speech-making. The President is having problems with collars that flap up and won't stay down, assorted Bearnaise mustard stains, plus he has been glimpse...

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