Hawaiians Forbidden to Marry Serbians in International Alphabet Emergency

Funny story written by Wumf

Monday, 24 February 2014

image for Hawaiians Forbidden to Marry Serbians in International Alphabet Emergency
The New Mr. and Mrs. Dimchuknyalnic-Haleokaaniitolanataatuo

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK - Wedding registry officials at the United Nations have handed down a decision concerning the flood of over-long newlywed names from abroad.

Speaking for the registry committee, Sir Engvald Torkner said, "It was bad enough that the Thai names were beginning to take up so much of our data base, but then the 'Serbian Hawaiian Holidays' trips started last year and things are getting out of control!"

Torkner was referring to the rash of marriages brought on by the winter special flights from Belgrade to Honolulu last year.

Especially bad are hyphenated names such as: Halakalamanukio-Dubrovnic or Aaueellaakanahomotuo-Principichnikda; names the mainframe computer system simply couldn't handle and which caused the spellchecker function to begin to distort into strange translation attempts. At one point, the spellchecker was just suggesting the entire English alphabet as a probable word.

The wedding registry has suggested that perhaps people from these countries could find a mate from China, traditionally a short-named populace.

More and more Mexican-Bosnian couples are also registering, using not only theirs, but each of their mother's maiden names. "One of these days we'll get a groom from Serbia and a bride with Hawaiian parents from Mexico and we'll be in even worse trouble!" said Torkner.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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