Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano Kidnapped by Two Volga Women

Funny story written by Wumf

Friday, 21 February 2014


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Kenny and Vic's last meal?

SOCHI, RUSSIA - Police authorities in Sochi confirmed that Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano are being held captive by two Volga Women, one of which only identified herself as "Olga from Volga".

Kenny and Vic were last seen in the vicinity of the Volga Sochi Sushi Bar near the Olympic Village. Eye witnesses reported that two men, thought to be Kenny and Vic, left the restaurant at 11:00 p.m. accompanied by two hefty women.

"The women towered over them," said witness Irina Babinski. "The two men looked nervous as they were escorted to a black Mercedes sedan parked near the bar. They sort of got shoved into the backseat and then the car sped away in to the night."

Around midnight officials received a phone call from the kidnappers demanding a ransom for the safe return of the two celebrities. Police declined to give the ransom amount, but declared it was sufficient to feed a family of five in Russia for a few years.

"We know the phone call came from the Volga area of Russia, but "Olga" hung up before we could track it to a specific location," said a spokesman for the police.

The American Embassy issued a warning to all American tourists to be careful when walking around the streets of Sochi late at night. A source close to the embassy remarked, "We can't give out statistics, but let's just say this is not an isolated incident."

A vigil is being held outside the Volga Sochi Sushi Bar by fans of the two beloved celebrities. Photos of Kenny and Vic, as well as heartfelt notes attached to plastic floral arrangements, are lining the sidewalk next to the building where the men were last seen.

Meanwhile, police authorities are continuing their investigation and ask anyone with information concerning the kidnapping to contact them as soon as possible.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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