VATICAN CITY, ROME - A spokesman for Vatican City finally admitted today that, yes, there is a special forces unit operating under the authority of the Holy See.
The possible existence of the ecclesiastical unit came to light when an 84 year-old nun successfully broke into the Highly Enriched Uranium Materials Facility at the Y-12 National Security Complex in Tennessee, in 2012.
Explained Archbishop O'Hanohan, "We cannot tell a lie. There is a highly trained special forces unit of nuns who are operating in various locations throughout the world. These sisters have been specially chosen for their intelligence, bravery, and physical strength. We call this special unit, H.O.P.E. - the Holy Order of Protesting Ecclesiasticals. They function mostly to protest and undermine war efforts, especially weapons production."
When asked if there are "fathers" involved in this effort, the Archbishop denied to comment, but did say, "H.O.P.E. has successfully thwarted many terrorist efforts across the globe. No one has ever suspected little old nuns, dressed in robes, of being capable of undercover operations. Well, that is, until now."
