Uproar in the Washington Senate.

Funny story written by Auntie Matter

Thursday, 21 November 2013

image for Uproar in the Washington Senate.
Scene of Paddy's Finest Hour.

Washington: Senator Paddy O'Hare of Massachusetts was yesterday bundled out of a debate in the Senate on additional funding to be made to contain rogue states such as Syria from using chemical weapons. Uproar broke out when O'Hare was invited by the Presiding Officer Luigi Vernace to state his views.

"Why is it, Mr President?" said Paddy, "that in discussions on so-called "chemical warfare" no mention is ever made of the deadly use of hard line killer drugs in our own country? The zillion dollar drug trade emanating from Colombia, and especially Afghanistan, that has created nearly two million hopeless opium and heroin addicts in Pakistan alone since the US moved into Afghanistan in October 2001 to... and I pause here to laugh gentlemen...'protect' it from the Soviets,... why is that evil war on humanity not considered 'chemical warfare'? What the hell else is it? I will tell you why... because drug runners and money launderers here in the states, and by that I mean corporate financiers, power elites, banks, street traffickers, consortiums, gangsters and drug cartels backed up by the CIA and US foreign policy in that region are reaping billions of narco-dollars year in and year out on the misery of countless, human beings. The dope trade finances the US meddlesome involvement in other countries in the cause of... and I pause again here to laugh....'democracy'. Is that what democracy here in America become, an instrument of war against the human race so that the rich and powerful can become more rich and yet more powerful at the expense of the vast majority of human beings who want above all to live just a decent life, to have food for themselves and their families and a roof over their heads? Is that what our government was meant to do? Turning millions into dope addicts whose life expectancy is drastically reduced... is that not chemical warfare, Mister President, members of the house? If that is not to be considered chemical warfare perhaps the members here can tell me exactly what it is! And whatever we may mean by democracy this surely cannot be an expression of it. When, if ever, are we going to wake up to the fact that the biggest suppliers, protectors, promoters and purveyors of dangerous chemicals on the planet is the United States of America? And are we, the elected representatives of our sinned-against people, supposed to vote in its favour by accusing and waging war against those who are less guilty of the crime of chemical warfare than we ourselves? How are we to protect humanity exactly by committing war crimes against it? What level of hypocrisy is this? What depths, in the name of civilization, are we prepared to drag civilization itself into? What hells of captivity and bondage, physical and spiritual, are we prepared to drag our brothers and sisters into in the name of 'freedom'? And is freedom doing what you want to whomever you want whenever you want? If that be 'freedom', what then is murder? Is it possible that what we understand as 'freedom' is in fact the biggest lie we live under and the source of all our ills? And for WHAT! Money? Will money not still be here when we are all dead and buried?"

Unfortunately, Paddy never got to finish his speech as security arrived to bundle him out of the Capitol building amid boos, catcalls, lashing fists and swinging boots. Later he said he would consider suing Congress but "would find it mighty difficult to find a lawyer willing to take the case on."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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