Tweeter's drone nostalgia comes back to nip him badly

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Monday, 19 August 2013

image for Tweeter's drone nostalgia comes back to nip him badly
Spotted hovering near the tweeter's incident zones, this may be a drone?

Sources close to Time's correspondent who tweeted a wish to report on Julian Assange being attacked by a drone have noted his wish back-fired badly.

And literally.

A massive attack occurred directly afterwards on the reporter's left and right lower rear hemispheres in terms of what appear to be numerous "mini-surgical" strikes, flown out of tiny drone squadrons such as only children can dream of.

The mission in retaliation to the tweeter was duly listed by security agencies as successful, with the target's posterior territory "neutralized" and stamped "tango down."

In background to these events, it is also reported the tweeter carefully studied for his tweet a long time before submitting it.

His text for this study was a guide on "Nostalgic Desires for Drone Strikes" created by the organization "Hatred Amnesty International."

Criteria for the guide include the following directions:

Yes answers to the following are imperative in order to go ahead and post your tweet about a wished-for drone attack on somebody:

*Do you really, seriously, hate this person?
*Is your hatred completely irrational?
*Has your hatred been sufficiently influenced by negative, biased press?
*Has the subject had any hearing whatever that might dissuade your judgment?
*If your nostalgia for this drone strike turns out to be completely unfounded and stupid, will you stand by it?

In related developments new categories of NSA surveillance have emerged under these categories:

*drone-wish abuses and abusers
*incitement to drone violence problems
*stupid tweets related to drones

Accordingly, new types of drone-security manufacturers have been busy engineering tiny drones in various tiny forms. For example, mosquitoes equipped for a mild array of violence including tasering, tear gas, and a sharp zap! to the suspect in vulnerable regions of his/her anatomy are now available.

On a positive note for the economy, mini-drone industries are underway for marketing this tiny equipment in the personal expressions and games area, as well as for private weaponry alongside handguns and assault rifles.

The NRA stands by with enthusiasm but has urged caution in employing mini-drones for law enforcement.


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more