Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the former International Monetary Fund (IMF) leader, and serial sex-pest, has volunteered to do testing of silicone breast implants.
"When I heard that the French company PIP was selling sub-standard prosthetics to the world, I was angered. How dare these people bring shame on the great Republic of France. I wanted to do something personal, something to restore faith, something selfless."
When asked how the tests were conducted Strauss-Kahn continued.
"Well basically, you come into my office and sit down on a comfortable chair, or my lap if you prefer. I then disrobe you, apply lotion and non-invasively test you with my expert hands. Upon completion, I give you a report, a bunch of flowers and ask you to sign a waiver."
Strauss-Kahn has a philosophical view on his recent brush with the law after his his affair with a hotel maid.
"It's inevitable that when you sleep with someone who cleans up shit, you sometimes come away with some stuck to you."