Written by Proffitt

Monday, 19 December 2011

image for Greatest ever golfer dies - Kim Jong-il
Kim's hole in one

The world of golf was today morning a lost champion in the North Korean leader Kim Jing-il. Aficionados of the sport will remember Jong-il for his legendary one and only game where he hit a 68 below par score that contained no less than 11 holes in one!

Commentators said at the time the man was nothing short of a golf god and if he had continued to play would almost certainly annihilated Tiger Woods.

It wasn't just golf where he excelled, Jong -il was a good at everything it seems and his sporting record demonstrates this. He was a champion; weight lifter, ironman and sky diver! He even managed to complete in the Tour de North Korea when he told palace members he was simply popping out to get some milk from the local Tesco. Other competitors told how they thought it strange watching a little old man with a basket on the front of his bike ride past them.

But that's not all, as not many outside N Korea knew Kim was also an accomplished ballet performer rumoured to have secretly toured with the Bolshoi in '92, a stunt man having worked on such movies as Enter the Dragon and Kung Fu Panda and to top it all was the first N Korean to have walked on the moon no less.

'I thinks the world will spin a little slower today now Kim is dead,' said one North Korean yesterday interviewed at Kim's 4 Michelin stared restaurant in Peyonyang as he cried in to his weekly bowl of rice.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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